Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
