With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
