Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
