on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
