my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
