Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
