i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
