what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we're making bets on your personal life
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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