He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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