This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
