Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
