don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also, beer. Big fan.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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