im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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