Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
