Your mouth is God's brothel.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
