if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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