Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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