Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
