the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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