i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize