quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
