i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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