You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
