He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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