I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
