I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
