suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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