Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
