My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
