Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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