My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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