i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
