The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
