Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
