I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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