Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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