What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We need to get me chipped asap
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
