alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
