Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
