I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
