Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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