so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
