Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I deserve this hangover.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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