How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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