If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
