i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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