They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
