I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
