With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
