I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
