my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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