i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
