I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
