i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize