i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
please don't ironically join a cult
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