The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
