I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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