You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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