How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
