ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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