You can't special order awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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