Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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