woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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