I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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