My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
