so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
