sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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