I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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