i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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