i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
