Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
