I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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