Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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