just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize