Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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