dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
